Meanwhile Phil is determined to find where Luke's hidden talents lie. S1, Ep8. Jay has a sleepover for his grandkids, but Haley is looking for a way out.
Claire tries to get a perfect anniversary gift for Phil, and Mitchell and Cameron discover that their ladyfriend is crazy and jealous of their daughter. S1, Ep9. Cameron breaks out his favorite clown costume to make Luke's birthday party a hit. However, a series of accidents causes the party to break into chaos and leads to an unfortunate injury. S1, Ep Phil and Claire cancel Christmas for their kids until they confess to wrongdoings at the house.
Jay is hesitant to celebrate Gloria and Manny's holiday traditions. Mitchell and Cameron take Lily to meet Santa. Manny's dad shows up bearing extravagant gifts, Mitchell and Cameron fight over how to care for their daughter when she cries at night, and Claire tries to impress the firefighters who responded to Phil's kidney stone call.
Gloria plots to get rid of Jay's new "dog butler," Cameron's helpful nature gets himself in trouble with Mitchell, and Claire asks Phil to punish their son for looking at nude pictures, not knowing they're Phil's. Mitchell tells Jay that one of his friends is gay to teach him a lesson, Claire gets frustrated with Phil's new master remote control, and Gloria gives Manny's "date" a makeover to improve her self-esteem.
Claire feels like a loser when she catches up with an old friend from work, Jay and Cameron have an unpleasant "encounter" in a locker room, and Mitchell tries to give legal advice to Gloria after she has a wreck. Jay takes Gloria to see David Brenner. Mitchell and Cameron try to set Manny up on a date. Phil and Claire try to spice things up by going on a romantic getaway.
Haley confronts a terrifying driving examiner in her third attempt to pass the road test. Meanwhile, Jay struggles with wanting to stick to his holiday traditions while Gloria and Manny want to incorporate some of their Colombian practices, and Mitchell and Cameron take Lily to the mall for her first picture with Santa -- but end up with a disgruntled mall Santa on their hands. Gloria is less than pleased with Jay's reaction to the arrival of Javier, Manny's infamously unreliable dad.
Meanwhile, Phil is suffering from kidney stones and his dramatics leave Claire no other choice but to call for the hot firemen to rush him to the hospital, and Mitchell and Cameron have a harder time than Lily as they attempt to sleep train her. When Claire finds a dirty picture on the computer and assumes it's Luke's doing, a guilty Phil doesn't necessarily correct her. Jay and Gloria disagree over his beloved life-sized dog butler statue, and Cameron gets sucked into their gardener's woes, much to Mitchell's chagrin.
Mitchell plants the seed in Jay's head that he thinks one of Jay's old buddies might be secretly gay. Jay doesn't believe it for a second Meanwhile Gloria gives Manny's date a makeover and Claire faces off with Phil's universal remote. Claire feels slightly inadequate when her old friend, Valerie, visits and is nothing like Claire remembered.
Meanwhile Jay has an unsettling locker room moment when he and Cameron go play racquetball, and Mitchell tries to help Gloria with some legal problems. Phil and Claire break from their traditional Valentine's Day dinner date and plan a little "role play" excursion. Meanwhile, Jay and Gloria's ideas of romance clash when he takes her to a comedy show, and Mitchell and Cameron play cupid for Manny. When Phil and Luke embark on a discovery expedition underneath the house, Phil tries not to let his fear of the dark and of creepy crawlies get the best of him.
Meanwhile, Claire takes a nervous Haley to the DMV for her driver's test, Manny's sudden illness before a friend's amusement park birthday party makes Gloria suspicious, and Cameron and Mitchell invite Lily's pediatrician over for what turns out to be an anxiety-ridden brunch. After reconnecting on Facebook, Phil invites his old high school girlfriend to drop by the house, but this friendly visit quickly turns into trouble.
Meanwhile Jay accidentally kills Manny's beloved pet turtle, then goes to extremes to cover his tracks, and an overworked Mitchell finally stands up to his boss. Phil and Claire each tackle one of their kids' school projects; Jay and Mitchell set out on their traditional father-son outing to see the meteor showers, but Mitchell is surprised to see Manny will be joining them; and with the boys gone, Gloria and Cameron go out for some quality bonding time, but not without a few mishaps.
It could not be more perfect that Phil's birthday and the release date of a hot new product coincide, and he wants nothing so much as to be one of the first people to get one; this is Claire's mission. Meanwhile, before coming to Phil's party, Mitchell is preoccupied with a new found desire to toughen up, Cameron gets himself involved in a neighbor's marital problems, and it's Jay against Gloria and Manny in chess.
When Luke and Manny's hot-tempered basketball coach quits in the middle of a game, Jay and Phil both jockey to fill the position. Claire and Gloria each struggle with the realization that they might not be number one in their children's lives anymore, and Mitchell takes Cameron along to meet a prospective employer, but Cameron's big personality doesn't necessarily help to make a good impression.
Claire is caught off guard when Phil's father shows up in an RV with a little four legged friend, and she becomes suspicious that he might be hiding a larger reason for the visit. Meanwhile, when Cameron hears Dylan is down a drummer in his band, he enthusiastically offers to fill in, and Jay and Gloria have to pay the consequences of accidentally taking Manny to see a traumatizing horror movie.
For Jay's birthday, Gloria gives him the best surprise -- a romantic birthday getaway to Hawaii -- the only kicker is she invited the whole entire family to come along.
Everyone arrives at the airport, and it's a maddening scene with forgotten I. Jay could not be more excited to do nothing but indulge and relax in this tropical paradise, but then an unexpected reality check dampens his plans. Meanwhile, Phil is determined to make this trip romantic for Claire, Mitchell and Cameron have opposing views on whether to sightsee or not to sightsee, and the kids get into a little bit of mischief when left to their own devices.
Claire painstakingly plans for a new family portrait to be taken, but it seems like everything and everybody is working against her. Gloria and Manny go with Phil and Alex to a Lakers game and end up having a very awkward moment on the jumbotron; Luke interviews Jay for a school project, and Cameron gets a gig as a wedding singer while Mitchell is home alone with Lily and a wayward pigeon.
Phil finally agrees to sell the old station wagon but only after a family trip down memory lane; Cameron asks Jay for help when Mitchell decides to build a life-size princess castle for Lily. Gloria decides to honor her late grandmother by cooking more traditional Colombian meals; Claire finds out Alex is interested in a boy; Mitchell's aversion to public displays of affection causes an argument. When an earthquake hits, Claire gets stuck in the bathroom with the plumber; Manny experiences an existential crisis while out with Jay; Mitchell and Cameron use the quake as an excuse to get out of a party thrown by a friend Nathan Lane.
Claire tries to stop Phil from embarrassing himself at a realtors' banquet by giving an unfunny speech, while Mitchell tries to convince Cameron to change his wardrobe. In an attempt to reconnect the family, Phil and Claire challenge the family to see who can abstain from using their electronic devices the longest. Meanwhile, Mitchell and Cameron attempt to get Lilly into the best pre-school and Gloria deals with the neighbor's barking dog.
Claire gets ready to spookify the Dunphy house for the trick or treaters during her favorite holiday. She gives each family member a role to play, but nothing goes right. Cameron won't stop hating the holiday due to a traumatic childhood experience. Mitchell had a terrible day at work, and Gloria acts weird after Jay and Manny tease her about her accent. Claire and Haley have a bit of quality girl time while they're stuck at home sick, and Phil is preoccupied by the taunts of a chirping smoke detector.
Gloria and Manny's surprise visit at Jay's work leads to headaches for Jay, and Cameron gets swept up by all the lights and cameras when he goes behind Mitchell's back and takes Lily for a commercial.
It's Manny's birthday and the family is gathering at a restaurant to celebrate, though Manny himself is depressed about getting older. Phil and Claire decide to engage in a not-so-friendly car race on the way to the restaurant, and Mitch and Cam get sidetracked when they stop at the mall to pick up a gift.
Mitchell tries to tell Cameron how he feels uncomfortable with his mom, Barb Tucker. Meanwhile, Haley breaks up with Dylan much to Phil's dismay and Claire's delight. Jay has a little stomach ache that gets exacerbated when he and Manny look it up on the Internet.
At Luke and Manny's first school dance, Jay and Phil take them to the mall which turns disastrous, Claire's happiness turns into jealousy when Gloria joins the school dance committee. Meanwhile, Cameron and Mitchell learn about Lily biting other kids at the playground. Claire becomes a determined neighborhood vigilante hoping to catch and stop a menacing car that speeds though their streets. Meanwhile, Phil is busy trying to land an important listing with a difficult client, Jay teaches Manny how to ride a bike -- only to learn Gloria needs lessons too -- and Mitchell and Cameron stumble upon a mysterious neighbor who is quite the charmer.
Phil and Claire pressure Alex to ease back on her school work, but begin to worry about their own intellectual drives. Meanwhile, Jay is upset when Gloria tries to befriend a new couple, and Mitchell runs into an old female flame. It's Phil and Claire's anniversary, and when the kids go to surprise them with breakfast in bed, they get a surprise of their own. Jay and Gloria's plans for a Vegas vacation are ruined because of a brutally honest email accidentally sent to Claire, and Mitchell and Cam try to get into a new restaurant owned by a mom at Lily's preschool.
Claire and Phil decide to reprise their role-playing adventure from last year's Valentine's Day. Meanwhile, Jay's surprise plans for Gloria keeps getting interrupted, and a secret admirer comes between Cameron and Mitchell. The guest list for Lily's princess-themed birthday party gets a little out of hand when Mitchell decides to invite his mom, much to Claire's dismay, and disinvite Fizbo, much to Cameron's dismay.
Things get even more strange when DeDe shows up with Claire's old high school boyfriend in tow, and Jay and Gloria each turn to their own unique methods of dealing with this gathering of misfits. Phil and Claire have a huge fight and Phil hasn't a clue as to what it was over, so Gloria steps in to counsel Phil while Jay counsels Claire. Meanwhile, Jay has some regret in buying Gloria a karaoke machine, and Cameron is in full prep mode for a huge fund-raising event and asks Mitchell and Luke for help.
Claire runs herself ragged trying to fix the relationship between Haley and Alex, while Phil sneaks off to the spa. Meanwhile, Gloria is horrified by Jay's morbid plans to purchase two side-by-side crypts in preparation of their death, and Cameron decides he wants to write a book that celebrates the fact that Lily is adopted, but soon learns something new.
Luke becomes friends with a curmudgeon old neighbor, which does not please Phil and Claire. Meanwhile, Gloria and Manny try to get Jay to join them at the symphony, but in an attempt to avoid the concert, he instead ends up with Mitchell and Cameron on their "boys' night out" while Haley babysits for Lily. Cameron is overzealous in his planning of the spring musical performance at Luke and Manny's school.
Jay's brother visits while Phil convinces the family to be in his new ad. Mitchell and Cameron assess their family members in trying to decide who would best take care of Lily should anything happen to them. Claire and Gloria's Mother's Day excursion outdoors with the kids turns into the mother of all disasters. Meanwhile, Phil and Jay share an awkward moment when they stay home to prepare dinner for everyone, and Cameron worries about gender roles in his relationship with Mitchell.
Jay advises a dog trainer, while Phil and Claire switch parenting duties to the kids' chagrin. Mitchell has an extra Lady Gaga ticket when Cameron ends up sick. Jay has a sleepover for his grandkids, but Haley is looking for a way out.
Claire tries to get a perfect anniversary gift for Phil, and Mitchell and Cameron discover that their ladyfriend is crazy and jealous of their daughter. Cameron breaks out his favorite clown costume to make Luke's birthday party a hit.
However, a series of accidents causes the party to break into chaos and leads to an unfortunate injury. Phil and Claire cancel Christmas for their kids until they confess to wrongdoings at the house.
Jay is hesitant to celebrate Gloria and Manny's holiday traditions. Mitchell and Cameron take Lily to meet Santa. Manny's dad shows up bearing extravagant gifts, Mitchell and Cameron fight over how to care for their daughter when she cries at night, and Claire tries to impress the firefighters who responded to Phil's kidney stone call.
Gloria plots to get rid of Jay's new 'dog butler,' Cameron's helpful nature gets himself in trouble with Mitchell, and Claire asks Phil to punish their son for looking at nude pictures, not knowing they're Phil's. Mitchell tells Jay that one of his friends is gay to teach him a lesson, Claire gets frustrated with Phil's new master remote control, and Gloria gives Manny's 'date' a makeover to improve her self-esteem. Claire feels like a loser when she catches up with an old friend from work, Jay and Cameron have an unpleasant 'encounter' in a locker room, and Mitchell tries to give legal advice to Gloria after she has a wreck.
Jay takes Gloria to see David Brenner. Mitchell and Cameron try to set Manny up on a date. Phil and Claire try to spice things up by going on a romantic getaway. Haley confronts a terrifying driving examiner in her third attempt to pass the road test. Meanwhile, Jay struggles with wanting to stick to his holiday traditions while Gloria and Manny want to incorporate some of their Colombian practices, and Mitchell and Cameron take Lily to the mall for her first picture with Santa -- but end up with a disgruntled mall Santa on their hands Meanwhile, Phil is suffering from kidney stones and his dramatics leave Claire no other choice but to call for the hot firemen to rush him to the hospital, and Mitchell and Cameron have a harder time than Lily as they attempt to sleep train her Jay and Gloria disagree over his beloved life-sized dog butler statue, and Cameron gets sucked into their gardener's woes, much to Mitchell's chagrin S1 Episode13 - Fifteen Percent Mitchell plants the seed in Jay's head that he thinks one of Jay's old buddies might be secretly gay.
Jay doesn't believe it for a second Meanwhile Gloria gives Manny's date a makeover and Claire faces off with Phil's universal remote S1 Episode14 - Moon Landing Claire feels slightly inadequate when her old friend, Valerie, visits and is nothing like Claire remembered. Meanwhile Jay has an unsettling locker room moment when he and Cameron go play racquetball, and Mitchell tries to help Gloria with some legal problems Meanwhile, Jay and Gloria's ideas of romance clash when he takes her to a comedy show, and Mitchell and Cameron play cupid for Manny S1 Episode16 - Fears When Phil and Luke embark on a discovery expedition underneath the house, Phil tries not to let his fear of the dark and of creepy crawlies get the best of him.
Meanwhile, Claire takes a nervous Haley to the DMV for her driver's test, Manny's sudden illness before a friend's amusement park birthday party makes Gloria suspicious, and Cameron and Mitchell invite Lily's pediatrician over for what turns out to be an anxiety-ridden brunch S1 Episode17 - Truth Be Told After reconnecting on Facebook, Phil invites his old high school girlfriend to drop by the house, but this friendly visit quickly turns into trouble.
Meanwhile Jay accidentally kills Manny's beloved pet turtle, then goes to extremes to cover his tracks, and an overworked Mitchell finally stands up to his boss S1 Episode18 - Starry Night Phil and Claire each tackle one of their kids' school projects; Jay and Mitchell set out on their traditional father-son outing to see the meteor showers, but Mitchell is surprised to see Manny will be joining them; and with the boys gone, Gloria and Cameron go out for some quality bonding time, but not without a few mishaps S1 Episode19 - Game Changer It could not be more perfect that Phil's birthday and the release date of a hot new product coincide, and he wants nothing so much as to be one of the first people to get one; this is Claire's mission.
Meanwhile, before coming to Phil's party, Mitchell is preoccupied with a new found desire to toughen up, Cameron gets himself involved in a neighbor's marital problems, and it's Jay against Gloria and Manny in chess
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